One of the most important things you should know is that herpes is very common. If you have genital herpes, you're not alone. Almost 50 million Americans have genital herpes. It's common to feel guilty or ashamed when you hear you have herpes. You may feel that your sex life is ruined or that someone you thought you could trust has hurt you. You may feel sad or upset.
Keep in mind that you are one of millions of people with herpes. Herpes may get less severe as time goes by, and you can help protect your sex partner by not having sex during outbreaks and by using condoms at other times. Talk to your family doctor about how you're feeling.
No time is completely safe because it's hard to know for sure when you can spread herpes. You must tell your sex partner that you have herpes.
Many people feel the early warning symptoms of an outbreak. Although each person is different, common early symptoms may include pain, burning, itching, tingling, or tenderness. This stage of the outbreak is called the prodrome-a warning that a full-blown outbreak may be coming. You should avoid having sex if you have any sores. Herpes can spread from one person to another very easily when sores are present. Another reason to avoid sex when sores are present is that sores make it easier to catch the AIDS virus. Studies show that all sexually transmitted infections can increase the risk of getting HIV. People with genital herpes have at least twice the risk of becoming infected with HIV if exposed to it than people without infection. And people with HIV and genital herpes are more likely to pass HIV to their partners than people without genital herpes.
You should use condoms every time you have sex. Condoms can only help reduce the risk of spreading herpes if they cover all the infected skin.
Herpes often brings about some changes in a couple's sex life, such as abstaining from sex during outbreaks. For most people with herpes, this occurs only a few times a year. Ask your partner how often he or she has outbreaks so you'll have some idea of what to expect.
You and your partner will need to have open, honest communication about herpes so you can work together to prevent transmission. Your partner will need to feel comfortable telling you when he or she feels an outbreak coming on. Your relationship may benefit as you talk and establish trust.
On the other hand, if you aren't sure about the relationship, or you are uncomfortable with the risk, consider delaying intimacy for a while. Get to know your partner better, and give yourself time to adjust to the idea of herpes. There is no need to rush into a decision.
Keep in mind that all relationships face challenges, many far tougher than herpes. Good relationships stand or fall on far more important issues -- including communication, respect, and trust.
Can I give herpes to my baby if I'm pregnant?
Tell your doctor if you have genital herpes or if you have ever had sex with someone who did. The main concern is that the baby may be born while you have sores or are shedding the herpes virus, which could spread the infection to the baby. If a baby catches herpes, it could be serious.
The baby is usually safe in the uterus. When the baby passes through the birth canal, it may catch herpes. Your doctor may do a cesarean section ("C-section") if you have an outbreak at the time you go into labor, so the baby won't have to go through your birth canal.
· Talk to your doctor if you think you may have herpes.
· Remember that you're not alone. Millions of people have herpes.
· Keep yourself healthy and limit your stress.
· Don't touch your sores.
· Tell your sex partner and use condoms.
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